Thursday, 22 October 2009
how stupid can i be... clubbing just because i wanna be happy... does clubbing even got to do with any of this... it's not even me at all is it... maybe i was running away... running away from the fact i miss her... wanting to try all sort of stupid things.. where's the indra i was back then... where's the guy who was so gentlemen like.. where's the romantic person some ladies say i was... where's the real me...
you know... thinking back... i am stupid.. letting go her just because she wasn't ready... just because her parents think it's not nice for us to go out that often... probably i forgotten romeo and juliet... love is like that right... there will always be obstacles we need to go through... sometimes you have to fight for what you want... it may be like this now... but who knows.. it could change in the future.. i mean one day she has to be ready.. one day her parents would still see her dating and get married right...
so why in the blue hell am i letting go just like that... is it because i get intimidated with all the guys going after her... is it because i gave up after what she told me... or am i just an asshole who don't know how to cherish and fight for the one in front of me??
one thing for sure... she's all i ever wanted... she's all i think about... one moment i saw a chick... the next ill see her...
you know what... after everyhing i've done... its too early to give up... it's time i try and get her back... even if it takes me years... she's still gonna be the one i'm gonna be going after... after everthing i am going to do.. i really hope it pays off... cause there's nothing i won't give for her... and if you ask me... she's worth it and she is that special... finally i know my real aspirations..
My aspirations are my highest goal... and my highest goal... is her... =)
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
wow im so envious and so fucking jealous sia... why does it seem like im the only one left... everything i do... people have done it bfore... whatever i haven't do... people do already... alamak life sucks sia...
everyone looks so happy with their life... even though they have their own problems... they still try and smile and live life day by day...
nowadays i just can seem to smile alone anymore... i need my friends to help me smile... people at my station.. people like my friends.. amrul, shuk, shafiq, shaun.. just to name a few... they can be a pain in the assholes but they are truly my friend.. =D
im 21 now.. i guess its time i leave everything behind and move on... im still young.. haha.. and i've yet to taste the world... i wanna go clubbing... i wanna drink to get rid of my stress.. i wanNA party... i want to do whatever i want... i'll be a fucking pussy if i get all upset because i saw my ex having a bf now or me and fifi is just not gonna work... because deep down i want them to be happy... and im gonna pray for them... i hope they find happiness in their live... and c'mon there's more chicks out there right... i didn't lose anything... it just made me stronger... hee... =D
FUCK THE WORLD...
i wanna live life to the fullest now... i wanna party.. i wanna be like Zakya and just not think about this fucking bullshit... i wanna grow up.. i wanna be the indra that i should be... haha..
yeah... it my life... and im fuckingly gonna do what i want.. woohoo.. im on FIRE... =D
*relax... im not drunk... not yet... hahahaha...
Monday, 12 October 2009
it felt as if it was ages since i had the best time of my life....
and then i met the most beautiful girl there was... no doubt she was who i wanted to be with... i get to know her and we keep getting to know one another better...
days past... i fall in love with this girl... i knew i she was for me... i knew Allah send her to me... and so i thought...
time flies and she was already working full time... getting busier every single time... i did'nt mind because i know its work... we still had time to catch up...
everyday i waited... hoping she will give me the green lght to prove to her how much she meant to me... and everyday... i think of ways to improve myself...
at the end of the day... i fought a war that i already lost to begin with...
as i'm typing this... tears roll down my cheek... it'z not because i fail... because i amstill reluctent to let her go... but life has to move on... all the critisism i got... all those guys who told me to move on... was it all for nothing??
everything was in vain...
but as im typing this... i think about life... life wouldnt be fun if we get everything tat we wanted... atleast today i learn that...
and it got me stronger... atleast i now know... and i can move on now...
all those time.. it was worth it... the time with her.. it was priceless...
thank you fi...
tell me im emotional.. tell me that im silly... tell me if im stupid... critisise me if u want... say whatever u like...
i don't care... cause the lesson i got from this is something u'll never get.. something i wouldn't exchange even for my life...
and its over... we ended like that...
i did try... it wasn't in vain afterall...
Thursday, 1 October 2009
If i walk would you run
if i stop would you come
if i say ur the one would you believe me
if i ask you to stay
will you show me the way
tell me what to say so you don't leave me
the world is catching up to you
while you're running away to chase your dream
its time for us to make a move
cause we are asking one another to change
and maybe i'm not ready
but i'm trying for your love
i can hide up above
i will try for your love
we've been hiding enough
if i sing you a song
would you sing along
or wait till i'm gone, oh how
we push and pull
if i give you my heart
will you just play the part
or tell me it's the start
of something beautiful
am i catching up to you
while you're running away
to chase your dreams
it's time for us to face the truth
cause we are coming to each other
to change
and maybe i'm not ready
but i'm trying for your love
i can hide up above
i will try for your love
we've been hiding enough
i will trying for love
i can hide up above
if i walk would you run
if i stop would you come
if i say ur the one would you believe me
